so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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