I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
