Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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