I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
