I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
