She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
