Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize