I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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