I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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