Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
