All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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