The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
