how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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