sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
