Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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