im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
