Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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