dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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