u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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