This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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