Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
