i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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