I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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