i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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