Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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