i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
