he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
