Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
