Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
