Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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