i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
