Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
