new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
