yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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