The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
