Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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