check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize