really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
