never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
