dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
