a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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