all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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