Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
