My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
