I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She needs sedatives and a leash
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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