Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize