I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
