Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
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