She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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