i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
