I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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