I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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