Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
