come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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