he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
