Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
