I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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