Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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