Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
