Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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