I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
